Tag Archives: ptsd

i’m sorry (too).

perspectives    misaligned

a lie – disturbed by

realities amiss

and I

can’t tell the difference;

mocked, consumed

once eaten by

a wolf –

and there’s a shadow in my eye;

my soul yearns

CRAVES

evolution not disguised:

calm, in the flow

ripples, dispelled –

what was once

(upon a time)

so  easily  known.

 

 

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M is for…Monster

never
has anyone made me feel
as badly
as you

…yet I refused to let you go

you haunted me, I
clutched onto my terror
as you became my nightmare
dysfunctional love,
our unison: bound
in spiritual roadkill, together

we killed each other
sometimes softly
always returning for more
your anger soared
my innocence departed
yet somehow
I loved you more —

never
has anyone expressed
hatred
burning through their eyes
while they looked into mine
like you

…yet I forgave you each time

quietly trembling
in a silence of hell
my heart would snap
spirit
shatter
body a statue of frozen matter

and you knew your strength
your predator power
stifling my breath —
undercover —
conniving wretch

M is for Methodical.
a demon wrapped in Manners.
Monster hiding in plain day.

What’s that.. ? a Bible name, you say…?

…how soon I would forget
existed any other way.

PTSD

i dont know what i’m doing
if i’ll ever be ok

the tears come like flash floods
from the river you carved into me

buried so deep i cant feel
until just before it bursts –

and it scares me

how long will it stay like this
how long will your fucking scars

dig into me like raging hooks
bleeding my insides even though

you’re long gone

i hate the crookedness, distortion
of what you left in me

because it hides and surfaces
when i have no control

post traumatic stress disorder
they have a name for this

but it doesnt help

it’s just a reminder for when i get lost –
i’m still trying to find my way back